Totally Honest- Part 1

Alright y'all, I'm about to be totally honest about a bunch of stuff.

God is really rocking my world right now.  I don't know how else to describe it.   Let me start here.... I have been a believer since I was about 7 or 8 years old.  I invited Jesus into my heart at such a young age that I don't really remember doing it.  I remember meeting with the pastor and getting dunked.

*PAUSE* I am a Christian.  I believe that God created the world. That he sent his son Jesus to dwell on earth and live a perfect life, free of any sin.  That Jesus ultimately was killed, and hung on a cross, to bear the sins of every human being (so yeah, that means you).  After his death, they buried Jesus.  But the grave couldn't hold him.  He rose from the dead, into heaven to sit on his throne as King and Creator of all things. God is so holy and we are so NOT holy that the only way to enter into God's presence is through Jesus.  Seriously, God loves us all so much that he gave the ultimate sacrifice so that we could know a life with him and never have to know a life of eternal separation from him.  And when you enter into a life with Christ, God will use you to do great things.  There is not a single human being on the face of the planet who isn't invited to know a relationship with Christ.  A life with meaning and purpose.

Okay-- So, follow that with several years of bible drill, youth group, mission trips, youth camp, etc...  Then follow that with complete rebellion.  College and a few years after are like a complete blur... a blur that I'd like to forget.  Just as Adam and Eve hid from God in the garden because of their sin, I worked really hard to hide from God.  For SEVERAL YEARS.  I still believed in my heart that God was real and that Jesus saves.  I just chose my sin instead.  Simple as that.  No one to blame but myself.  Not my parents, my church, or any of that.  I dipped my toe in the water, and decided to dive on in. Because of this I missed out on some really great friendships and opportunities to grow in (or even exercise) my faith.

But here's the thing... God is FAITHFUL and RELENTLESS in pursuing his children.  And you, my friend, are God's child.  Whether you know and accept Him or not, you're His.

So after years of hiding and ignoring, God called me out in a big way.  I got into a little run-in with the law (sorry Mom) and got a serious wake-up call from the guy upstairs. In everything,  I clearly heard the voice of God, through my thoughts, telling me "Lindsay, are you sure this is the path you want to choose?  I want so much more for you.  I created you to do amazing things for my kingdom and I've missed you.  Please come back.  Please choose me instead.  It's a better way."

I wanted to say yes.  I actually already KNEW it was a better way because I had experienced it.  I needed sucked out of my sin cycle (or the sin toilet bowl, as I like to think of it). So I just asked God to show me how.  I felt like I had very few "real" friendships.  You know, the types of friends who speak truth into your life.  Who pray for you.  I needed friends to encourage me.  Friends to disciple me.  Friends to listen.  I wanted to be that kind of friend as well--- and I was really out of practice.  I was attending church at the time (funny how you can go to church regularly, but still be totally lost) and I ran into sweet, sweet Kristen, a sorority sister from college.  I just asked her if she'd be my friend... I told her my story and asked her if she could help me meet some other people. So that's what she did.  God totally placed her in my path for that very reason... and I'll always be so thankful to Kristen for actually being obedient to God in that way.  He led her to me, gave her an opportunity to just love me, and that's what she did. Jesus saved me, and Kristen was my friend.  My one friend.  But God can do big things with just a single act of obedience and with one single friend.

So, that's the story about the time I was saved... again. But, why am I telling it now?  Many who know me really well probably know this story, but many do not. I'm telling it because it's a part of me.  I'm telling it because it is our stories and our testimonies that show how God works in BIG BIG ways.  These are the stories that show that God is REAL.  These stories display God's true love for us.  The kind of love that will stop at nothing to bring us to a life that is full in HIM.   This is a part of my faith and my relationship with Christ. It is my story that helps me understand hurt, broken, lost people and want to love them with all my heart. That kind of love was never withheld from me, and it is my purpose to show this love to others.  Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.  That is the great and first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself..." (Matthew 22:37-40)  So basically Jesus says, "Love God. Love people.  In that order."

The journey back to living life in God's will was tough.  It required severing several friendships.  Deleting a bunch of Facebook friends. Breaking up with boyfriends. Not returning phone calls.  It required discipline and a lot of time alone.  And, a lot of time spent in God's word. If I wasn't alone, I tried to make sure I was in the company of other believers.  People who could offer wise counsel and pray for me.  People I could attempt to pray for as well. I felt like a baby believer again.  I was amazed that I had ever strayed so far away. I felt full of God's love.

Anyone who has a relationship with Christ has a story.  It may be like mine or it may be totally different.  Why does it seem that so many testimonies of salvation go like this... "I thought life was going great.  Then something happened and I hit rock bottom.  Then God spoke to me."  Here's my take on it-- God NEVER stops pursuing us.  He never ceases to put people in our lives who want to point us to Him or simply love us where we are and love us for who we are.  For those who are believers, his Holy Spirit never stops convicting us and trying to turn our hearts to Him.  But this is what I know, it is often that ONLY at rock bottom are we actually willing to listen.  It is only at rock bottom that we are actually willing to respond.  It is often only at those times that we submit.  But how amazing it is to live a life submitting to God in ALL TIMES, not just the bad times!

A life lived in Christ is a life of submitting to God.  A life of saying, "Your way is better.  Just show me how."  And God will do amazing things when you approach him with that kind of heart.  You don't have to be perfect. You don't even have to be close to perfect.  You just have to submit.  In each and every moment and decision... you submit.  "God, please direct me.  God, please change me.  God, please never stop pursuing me. Give me an opportunity to obey."  We have a God that is so tender and gentle with new believers, just as a mother is tender and gentle to nurture and love a newborn baby.  But, just as children grow, we as believers must grow.  God created us to worship him and to do good works.  And for those that seek to mature and grow, by feasting on his word, he will direct your path and point you to the good works he designed you to do. He simply asks that we submit.

God has laid it on my heart to share these things.  I'm not sure why now is the right time... but I'm trying to be obedient, so here it is. In Part 2, I'll describe my next wake-up call.  It's not a wake-up to salvation, but rather a wake up to GO and be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Read Part 2